Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
