Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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