Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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