Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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