if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
