We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
