I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize