Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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