am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
