I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
