I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
