420 ftw
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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