wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
