I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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