YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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