The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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