the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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