I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
