TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
