I accidentally burped into my bong.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
