I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize