Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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