So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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