i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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