So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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