I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
