just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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