It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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