you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
