ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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