Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
