a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
