quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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