DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My vagina is officially offended.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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