you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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