Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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