I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
