I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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