Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
