so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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