So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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