i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
