sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
