He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize