What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
