she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
