i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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