Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
