stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
