I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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