her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
