She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
