Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
