Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
