At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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