I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize