FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
