is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
