White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
